Prospective families looking for a birth mother must complete an adoptive family profile which will be shown to women considering adoption.
There are many online templates you can use to create your adoptive family profile. Your agency will tell you exactly what format they want to use.
Birth mothers are not looking for a slick advertising campaign.
Instead, they are looking for connections and commonalities.
They want to be able to relate to you.
You don’t need to be perfect; you need real.
An adoptive parent needs to know your passions, and they need to know that there will be a degree of stability for the child.
Your profile will include:
- A family summary.
- An introduction to extended family members.
- A description of your house, neighborhood, community.
- Pictures of your home
- Pictures of hobbies/activities/skills
- Anything else that encapsulates your individuality, interests, lifestyle, and—most crucially—your enthusiasm to adopt a child.
- A letter to prospective birth parents
As you create your adoptive parent profile, consider the emotion and uncertain time this may be for the adoptive parents. Try to empathize with the birth parents and offer comfort and reassurance. Regardless of the parents’ situation, they want their child to be raised in a secure and safe environment and have the best life possible.
Some additional suggestions.
- DO include a variety of high-quality pictures.
- DO talk about your feelings concerning adoption.
- DO show respect for the birth mother.
- DO discuss the type of adoption you are opening to considering. You may be prepared for an open adoption, a semi-open adoption, or only a closed adoption.
- DO use candid shots and be real.
- DO describe any connections you may have with adoption. Other family members who are adopted. Have you always dreamed of adopting? Did your sister place a child for adoption?
- DO include funny or interesting facts about you and your partner.
- DO share the values and the culture that you want to pass on. This can be done with a few well-chosen pictures.
- DO choose a great cover photo.
- DO explain pictures with captions or short blurbs.
- DO show experience you have with other children.
- DO show balance. Your life is full enough that you are desperate for a baby, but not so full you have no room for a child.
- DO recognize text in your profile is important, but the photos will be the reason for reading the text.
- DO be descriptive but concise.
- DO avoid huge group pictures. You don’t want just a sea of faces.
- DO be sensitive to cultural differences.
- DON’T talk about money or brag about your possessions. Focus on sentiment over possessions.
- DON’T over dress. Give an honest reflection of your daily life.
- DON’T overwhelm the expectant mother with too much text. She will be reviewing multiple profiles. If it is too much to read, she might just skip over the profile.
- DON’T assume the birth family has already made up their minds. A woman isn’t committing to adoption simply by viewing profiles. When you say, “I applaud your decision,” or describe how excited you are to raise her child, you could be putting unwanted pressure on her. Always refer to the baby as hers.
- DON’T be gender-specific. In your adoption plan with the agency, you may state whether you want a boy or a girl. Keep your profile language neutral. Birth parents often find gender-specific language unappealing.
- DON’T overthink it. Birth mothers are looking for different things. Just be honest and let the truth of your personality shine through.
- DON’T make the profile too long. Too much information can be overwhelming. Eight pages are often adequate. No more than 12.
- DON’T include personal information like addresses, phone numbers, social media accounts, or your last names in the actual profile. Don’t be too specific about where you live. There are people who scam adoptive families.
The goal of your profile is to help birth mothers envision their child as a member of your family. If a mother places with you, you will always be connected to this woman one way or another. Above all else, DO be honest.