You know that iconic Stanford experiment that supposedly measured childhood willpower by telling the test subjects how eating the marshmallow was okay? BUT if they waited twenty minutes without eating this treat, they could get a second treat.
Those original 1960s test subjects who held out for two small rewards are now admired and successful pillars of their respective communities, while the ones who stuffed the white confection in their mouth are the bottom feeders of society.
I’m paraphrasing here.
Every one of my children would have reacted differently if Stanford scientists had placed them in a room with a table, a chair, and a marshmallow.
Children are unique.
My oldest, a rather tactile daughter, would have massaged the marshmallow between her thumb and forefingers until the sugar strung out like pulling taffy. The second marshmallow would have arrived before she was through playing with the first. She would have added the additional bulk to her sticky mess and kept kneading.
Our oldest son
would have popped the treat into his mouth, confident in his ability to persuade the scientists that he still deserved a second marshmallow and maybe even a third.
The third child
would probably eat the marshmallow immediately and then explain how he only wanted one in the first place.
The fourth
in line wouldn’t have lowered himself to be part of your stupid experiment. “Really?” he would say as if he couldn’t believe how obtuse you were thinking someone like him was going to be a lab rat. “Find someone else.” And you would know by his tone that he has no respect for whomever you found.
Our last child
would never have eaten the marshmallow. In fact, she would still be holding on to the second treat just in case she or someone else needed them in the future.
Your children are not blank slates.
They are a mosaic of inherited traits from generations combined with environmental influences.
Appreciate the beauty of the mosaic.
AND take comfort in the fact a replication study found no statistical correlations to delayed gratification and future success.
