You have been waiting for your adoptive child for months, if not years, and finally you bring your bundle of joy home.
There are several tips for adoptive parents, especially when bringing home a child. Imagine this unfamiliar world, new people and not being able to understand what is going on around you. After all, infants and toddlers have no control over these decisions.
Heart to Heart is a Utah adoption agency that offers valuable advice to adoptive parents.
- Low Key – A low-key homecoming is best, as this gives the child time to adapt to his/her new surroundings and bond with you as parents. You know how overwhelming parties can be and how you feel pressured to spread good wishes to everyone – this time in particular is a moment when you need to just focus on your new family and not the distraction of extended family and friends. Individual one-on-one visits that are more subdued are best to arrange.
- Stay Close – Imagine how an unborn child develops a bond with his/her mother – the sounds of her heart beating, the voices heard in-utero and the rhythms of her steps. Now imagine being born into a foreign world and your mother’s voice is gone, replaced by unfamiliar, unknown sounds. The same way the baby spent nine months getting to know his/her birth mother, you will need to spend hours bonding with your new child. Your child needs to feel safe and comfortable. Babies easily learn routines and you can incorporate your baby in your day-to-day activities.
- Adjusting – Older toddlers and young children will likely have an even more difficult time adjusting. If an adoption agency permits, request sending a care package prior to bringing home your new family member. That way the child has some time to see pictures of you, become familiar with certain scents and perhaps even associate you with a gift or two.
- Learning to Love – Not all adoptive children form immediate bonds with their adoptive parents. You may enjoy your new baby, but learning to love your child may take time. Be patient, as this will happen naturally.
- Go Easy On Yourself – No one is perfect. Remember, new mothers go without sleep so you may need a good support system to help ensure that you also take care of yourself, your spouse or other children in your family. Parenting is about expecting the unexpected, so rolling with the “punches” so to speak, is sometimes a necessary part of life. Adjust, adapt and learn – life holds precious moments and unexpected surprises.
Heart to Heart specializes in both open adoption and private adoption. Helping birth mothers through times of unplanned pregnancies, they strive to match birth mothers with prospective adoptive families, giving children a chance to thrive in a nurturing environment.