Birth Mother’s Day is usually not a holiday marked on a traditional calendar. Cards for this holiday are not readily available. But those who have been touched by adoption know.

The first gathering for Birth Mother’s Day was celebrated in 1990 in Seattle, Washington, on the Saturday before Mother’s Day. The women at this gathering knew about the emotions attached to placing a baby for adoption. They were there to honor and support one another.

This day, like adoption, can, of course, be bittersweet.

Those of you who are parenting a child or children through adoption know the importance of acknowledging those extraordinary birth mothers who helped form their family. Not recognizing a Birth Mother makes celebrating Mothers’ Day itself disingenuous. This woman gave you a baby.

Approaching this day with a birth mother requires understanding the birth mother and her feelings.

In some open adoptions, Mother’s Day is celebrated with both the adoptive and the birth mother.

If your adoption is not that open and yet you have contact with one another, you should consider:

–Reaching out. This might mean social media, texting, email, or a special photo exchange.

–Have your child create a homemade card.

–Send an edible arrangement or flowers.

Be thoughtful and recognize that Mother’s Day may be incredibly emotional for Birth Mothers.

Also, recognize this is an opportunity to talk to your child about his or her birth mother. It would be best to show your child that their birth mother is worthy of honor and respect. Your child should recognize you love their birth mother. She is part of your child. And when you love her, this is a positive reflection on them.