Zoey* was on edge. She stared out the window, subconsciously shaking her head.
The pregnant woman had gone through dozens of adoptive family profiles. Finally, she had found a couple to parent her baby—a man and woman whose profile checked all of the boxes. They were perfect–until they met.
Zoey didn’t feel comfortable. She started doubting everything.
This does not happen often.
Maybe only once or twice in the last 25 years at Heart to Heart Adoption has an adoptive family and a mother met, and the mother felt the family wasn’t right.
But, when this happens, the adoption plan stops feeling like a good plan. Instead, the birth mother doesn’t feel like she is making a parenting plan. Instead, she feels like she is “giving up my baby” or “giving away my baby”—not placing the child in a good place.
Zoey panicked. She tried to explain to one of our team members how scared the family made her.
When you place a child, you are not giving up your baby.
Instead, you are committing yourself to a lifetime relationship. Whether you and the adoptive family decide on frequent visits with one another or a more private communication on a secured app, you still have a long-term relationship. If you don’t feel comfortable, then we need to change courses.
In Zoey’s case, she went back to the profiles, and she met another family. This new family and Zoey had an immediate connection.
This immediate connection is common between birth mothers and potential adoptive parents.