Adoptee Adopting a Child--Unique Perspective
When an adoptee adopts a child, he comes to the parenting task with a unique perspective. This is Alexander and his son’s story. His perspective is one few are privileged to have–adopted and adopting a child. He gives us some incredible insights.
Finding a Place in a Family of Six
“I was born into the family of the Gardners and was the first child adopted. At the time, there were four sisters and a brother. A year later, my parents adopted another girl, and we became a family of seven children,” Alexander said.
Alexander’s arrival reshaped the family dynamic. Being the first child adopted into the Gardner family gave him a different lens through which to view his place in the home. It was never just about being loved—though he was. It was about learning what it meant to be welcomed without reservation.
How Early Adoption Set the Tone for Belonging
Growing up in a large, blended household, Alexander understood love from many angles. He had biological siblings, adopted ones, and a home where he never questioned whether he belonged.
“I was adopted… probably roughly around mid-summer,” Alexander said, still fuzzy on the exact date, but never unsure of the love he received. The timeline wasn’t as important as the warmth he remembers.
Even before he started questioning the “why” and the “what if” of his adoption story, he knew this: He had been given a name, and people who called him “theirs.”
That’s where his story began. And that beginning still matters, especially as he adopted a son. There are questions in his life. Questions he doesn’t want his own adopted son to ask.
So Alexander plans to parent differently. His son’s questions should be minimal. Partly because his birth mothers is part of their lives.
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