If you have struggled with infertility and are adopting as a second choice to the hypothetical biological child you can’t have–
If you are struggling with infertility and haven’t finished the grieving process, don’t decide to adopt.
Talking to one woman the other day was interesting.”
She said in part, “I had infertility, and I had miscarriages. They were difficult. Certainly, I lay on the bed in the fetal position and sobbed. But now, I am so glad I did because it led me to the children (adults now) I was privileged to raise. Maybe in my original plan, I would have reproduced my own DNA. But now, I’m glad we had the mismatched, eccentric, loud, fun, hilarious, high-maintenance family we had.”
Don’t prepare to adopt children as a consolation prize.
They are not a consolation prize.
So first, deal with any grief.
- Acknowledge your emotions.
- Talk about your pain.
- Take time to experience grief fully.
Recognize this experience is making you what you need to be. Then once again, we will say.
Children are not a consolation prize.
If your heart has led you to adoption, then you are ready.