Tough people don’t give up.Giving up is bad.There are a lot of quotes that support this “never giving up” belief. For example: “The difference between Success and failure is not giving up.”
“If you quit ONCE it becomes a habit. Never quit!!!”
I guess those are all good quotes except then we turn around and say, “She gave up her baby.” Talk shows say, “She gave up her baby.” Books says, “She gave up her baby.” Casual conversations include, “She gave up her baby.” Mothers say, “I gave up my baby.” Children learn that their mother, “Gave them up.” “Gave up,” has become synonymous with adoption.
But isn’t giving up bad? So is adoption bad? Women who “give up” their babies are quitters?
STOP saying “gave up,” in relationship to adoption. Talk shows should say that, “She placed her baby.” Books should say, “She placed her baby.” Casual conversations should say, “She placed her baby.” Mothers should say, “I placed my baby.” Children should learn that their mothers, “Placed them.”
Placing something means that you carefully choose a location and then cautiously and with great consideration find the best spot.
That is what adoption is about, carefully placing children. No one is “giving up.” No child should be given up, each child should be carefully placed.
Repeat after me, “This child was not ‘given up.’ This child was placed for adoption.” My children were not given up. Their mothers did not “give up.” My children had birth mothers’ who loved and wanted the best for their children. My children had birthmothers who “place them.” |