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Should You Adopt or Do You Have Tendencies Which Disqualify You?

Adoption is not the normal way to get a child, biology is.

If you love normal—don’t adopt. If you hate variety and crave predictability—don’t adopt.

If this is too much diversity in a wedding line, then adoption is not for you.

If this is too much diversity in a wedding line, then adoption is not for you.

Let me give you a little quiz. If you answer,” Yes,” to any of these questions, I don’t think you’re a candidate for adoption.

  • When choosing brides maids did you leave out a beloved roommate and your fiancee’s sister because one was too tall and the other needed to lose 20 pounds. You wanted your wedding pictures to be perfect and so everyone in your line needed to be the same size, both height, weight, and cup size. If so adoption is not for you.
  • When choosing a dozen doughnuts do you get all 12 of your favorite flavor. You expect everyone in the office to recognize this is the best choice. The whole staff will eventually come to the same conclusion once you have pounded reason into their head. If this is how you buy donates and bran muffins, adoption is not for you.
  • If you have already decided you will answer every question about biological parents with a snappy comeback such as, “They aren’t important,” then adoption isn’t for you.
  • If you think you deserve accolades for adopting a child, then you’re not only delusional, but, instead of adopting, you should head on over to the animal shelter and rescue a three-legged dog. Maybe PETA will give you a nod of gratitude.
  • If you plan to introduce your new child as your “adopted child,” then any social worker assigned to complete a home study for your file, should run from your house taking her laptops with her.
  • If you ask the social worker what the return policy is on this child, then adoption is not for you. Neither biological nor adoptive child come with a warranty.
Adopting children will mean they don't always "match."

Adopting children will mean they don’t always “match.”

If he breaks, you help fix him. If she doesn’t become a champion gymnast, too bad. If your adopted child thinks you’re dopey and doesn’t want you to drive him to school, then that is normal,–as normal as if the two of you were biologically related.

If none of the above scenarios apply to you, then are you ready to adopt? Probably not, but then again how many people have a child the “normal” way and are really ready.

To read more humor concerning adoption check out, “Motherhood in Black and White.” 

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