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Two Stories of Love–Birth Mother/Adoptive Mother


Even as her heart rejoiced with beautiful, little Emma, Becca was aware of another story.

A story that wasn’t necessarily wonderful and exciting.

A story that led to a baby leaving her birth mother.

“The day my son was born was all happiness, all good things,” Becca said about the child she gave birth to. “When Emma came, I recognized that a birth mother was losing a child. It’s okay for you to be excited about your side of the adoption, but it is important to be aware that they have a story that led them to this.”

Becca and her husband were drawn to adoption long before they started the paperwork to get their baby, Emma. Neighbors and family members had already gone through the process of adoption.

“We finished our paperwork in April,” Becca explained. “In August, we got our first call that there was a situation to see if we wanted the birth family to see our file. That family didn’t choose us. You are aware that your file is not the only one being presented to the birth family, so you don’t want to get excited, but you do.”

A few weeks later, the couple was presented with another potential birth mother. This time they were the ones who didn’t feel good about the situation. A third family chose Becca and her husband to be parents; however, there appeared to be “red flags from the start.”

“She did the minimum amount of calls she needed to get support. She took a long time to choose a family, and then when she did choose, she didn’t want to know much about us,” Becca explained. “However, I was different. My heart just went out to her, and I instantly wanted to make this connection.”

There was no connection, and the mother decided to parent.

“I’m glad for her,” Becca said. “I hope she has the support she needs.”

The fourth situation presented to Becca felt different from the start. The families connected and were grateful for one another even before meeting in person.

“Oh,” Becca groaned.

“COVID made things so frustrating. When we got to the hospital, we weren’t sure they would let anyone in. But our adoption specialist helped, and all the work, all the worry, all the preparation has been worth it.”