Typical adoption scenario.
- You complete paperwork—lots and lots of paperwork.
- You endure a home study and subsequent approval process.
- Someone from Heart to Heart Adoptions contacts you. “Would you like your profile presented to this birth mother? Here is her situation.”
You say, “Yes,” and tamp down the excitement. This could be your child. But there are a LOT of steps between being presented to a birth mother and adopting.
After you agree to being presented to a birth family, you start obsessively checking your email. You carry a charger to ensure your phone doesn’t die.
Then nothing happens.
The birth family didn’t want you. You continue peeking at your inbox, texts, and the charge on your cellphone battery.
Finally, you hear. The family has gone in another direction. You tell yourself it’s okay because it is. You’ve always known this adoption journey is a process.
Still, a part of you wonders what’s wrong with you. What’s wrong with your profile? Are you really cut out for this adoption journey?
Eventually, after all your obsessive checking, there’s a message. A birth mother wants to talk to you. Can you speak on the phone?
“YES!” your heart screams. Other parts of you are a bit more reserved. More questioning–
- Why do you have to audition for a child?
- Why is it so hard?
- What if the birth mother hates you?
- This should be a lifelong connection. First impressions matter. You know an open adoption is usually positive. You want a positive relationship with the birth mother.
From here, the scenario is unique with every adoption.
The journey will be filled with twists and turns. Sometimes a complete detour.
The brutal truth is that a birth mother may choose a family, everyone is informed of the match, and then the birth mother decides to parent.–Failed Adoption.
At Heart to Heart Adoptions, we know that parenting is sometimes the right decision for the birth mother, so we support this.
The beautiful truth is that nearly every prospective parent who faces a failed adoption eventually goes on to adopt.
These parents feel they ended up parenting the child “meant to be” theirs.
Here’s what we want you to know.
- We will contact you as soon as we have valid information. That knowledge won’t stop you from obsessively checking your email, but know we believe in communication as soon as our information is accurate.
- We communicate to you any red flags we see in every situation.
- We are dedicated to our birth mothers and their mental and physical health.
- We are also aware and concerned about our potential adoptive parents’ mental and physical health.
- We want you to communicate with us.
Know that we’re here for you.