Interracial Adoption--Using Humor
These siblings were pros as they fielded questions and remarks.
My black son and my white daughter were guides at the same tourist facility.
They were also exercise partners in some sort of grueling routine that produced amazing calf muscles—in both of them irrespective of their different DNA. So, when people doubted the two were siblings, the unmatched pair would flex the back of their leg and point out the obvious similarities.
“I mean, sure we have different fathers,” one would admit.
“And different mothers,” the other conceded.
Did they get tired of people’s comments?
Certainly.
Sometimes.
On occasion.
Maybe when it wasn’t fun.
But they could have avoided such conversations by pretending to be mere acquaintances.
You can’t pretend to be mere acquaintances when you are the parent in an interracial adoption.
So how do you deal with intrusive questions about interracial adoption?
Some things for you to consider:
- Think about how oversharing affects your child. So, of course, DO NOT overshare with inquisitive strangers.
- Think about how we as human beings are curious about situations we are not familiar with. So, of course, recognize these questioning people aren’t evil, bad, or don’t even mean to be insensitive. (Admittedly, there are exceptions.)
- Think about what cues your children are taking from you.
Protect your children, but also remember, children are watching you.
If you act irritated, annoyed, and bothered, your children will pick up on this feeling.
They may interpret those emotions as indicating something is wrong with adoption, specifically transracial adoption. If you act with calm, deflecting the insensitive rudeness with dignity –and when possible humor–your child will grow up to learn the same.
I don’t know if I treated comments with dignity or humor, but my children have learned to and for that I am pleased and grateful. They are amazing.