What you Need to Know about Matching

Matching the right birth family with the right adoptive family is important to us. And it is a process. Typically, we start the matching process when a birth mother is about 6-8 weeks from her due date.

Birth Family Consideration

We take seriously the considerations she has. For example, does she want a two-parent family or a single-parent home? What are her religious and race preferences? Does she want to place her baby with a family that has no children or a family with many? Sometimes, location, occupation, or a stay-at-home parent is important to her. The kind of open relationship a birth family wants is also very crucial to matching! So, we take what she is looking for and look for families who meet those criteria in the best way.

Adoptive Family Consideration We also take very seriously the considerations of an adoptive family. Some adoptive families don’t feel they are equipped to deal with a child born with a drug addiction. Others are concerned about traveling long distances for a child. Some families may not be comfortable with the openness a birth mother is longing for.

Current SituationWe provide a “Current Situation” page so adoptive families who want to be considered for a situation can reach out and let us know. Reaching out to us gives us a better idea of what you are looking for. However, this does not necessarily guarantee that you will be presented to a particular birth mother. You might not meet her criteria.

Prioritize  When we match, we prioritize Heart to Heart families who have already faced a failed placement with us. Then, we consider families who have been on our active list for a longer time. Depending on the situation, there may be times when a newer, active family will find themselves matched. Our goal is to present birth mothers with adoptive families with whom she will connect and choose for a healthy, lifetime relationship.


My mom has heterochromia,” Mandi spoke definitely.


In reality, the high school freshman had no idea what color her mother’s eyes were.

But she knew from middle school biology that announcing her mother had one green eye and one blue eye, the science teacher would struggle to put this quirky eye color on a Punnett Square.

Punnett Square

For you who don’t remember biology, the Punnett Square shows the possible ways offspring can inherit a gene from their biological parents. This genetic exercise is the bane of adopted children everywhere.

Like other adopted children, there was a time when Mandi squirmed uneasily during the genetics unit. What color were her mothers’ eyes? Was her dad left-handed?

Open Adoption

Even children in an open adoption don’t necessarily know these answers. As an adoptive parent, if your child needs this information, you should try to obtain the details.

“I hated those assignments,” Mandi admitted.

“I didn’t hate being adopted. I just hated recessive and dominant traits, and what is the probability I will have one. I remember sitting in science class and looking at that stinking Punnett Square.”

Resilient Adoptees