5 Ways to Empower Adopted Children
Empower your adopted child.
Give your adopted child the skills, background, confidence, and resources to feel empowered.
Adoption is a journey with highs and lows and different stages.
It brings unique challenges for adopted children.
Here are five ways to empower your adopted child.
- Open Communication: Encourage adopted children to ask questions about their adoption and birth family. Honesty is key. Adopted children should feel comfortable asking questions like “Why did you choose adoption?” “What were my birth parents like?” Let them know they can come to you.’
Caution. Occasionally, we find families that make adoption a child’s identity. Bryain was a Black high schooler being raised in a white home. He was much more interested in talking about football, his new car, and what’s for dinner. Then on occasion, he’d sit down and discuss his adoption. He didn’t want his identity to be “adoption.”
2. Celebrate Birth Story: Help children understand and embrace their unique story, including their cultural heritage.
Caution. Follow your child’s lead. Some children will want to celebrate cultural heritage one year and then want to ignore it the next.
Remember: children go through stages. Let them feel different over time, allow them to change their minds, and don’t let your own emotions influence theirs.
3. Connection with Birth Family: Support contact with the birth family when possible. Foster a sense of belonging and identity. Adoption communication can be through letters photos or even video chat. If the conversation needs to be monitored, the family can use OurHeartsConnect.
Caution. Rose remembers her mother asking if she wanted to contact her birth family. At the time, Rose said, “No.” She felt her mother didn’t really want her to—and truthfully, she wasn’t ready either. She was busy with school, friends, and many other things. Her mother never asked again. But in the years that followed, Rose did want to reach out to her birth family.
4. Build a Support System: Guide children in creating connections with other adoptees and professionals who understand their experience.
5. Address Challenges: Watch for signs of struggle like withdrawal, excessive clinginess, or low self-esteem. Early intervention matters.
Example: When usually chatty Ben went silent for a week, his parents didn’t wait. A few counseling sessions revealed he was worried about being “returned.” Professional help gave everyone the tools to work through it together.
OurHeartsConnect
- Safe Communication Space: OurHeartsConnect offers a secure platform for adoption triad members.
- Information and Resources: Access educational resources on adoption. Learn how OurHeartsConnect shares valuable information here.
- Fostering Belonging: Connect adopted children with others, reducing feelings of isolation. Discover the community aspect here.
- Communication with Birth Parents: Facilitate communication between adopted children and birth parents. Explore how OurHeartsConnect supports this here.
