Open Adoption Broken Promises. A Baby Placed Elsewhere
A woman wants to place a second child, but hesitates because the family raising her first child had not kept their word.
A Promise That Wasn’t Kept—Heartbreaking Realities
There was a couple—wonderful parents, devoted, loving, stable.
They made a promise to their child’s birth mother:
Regular emails. Regular updates. Regular photos.
Then… life happened.
Not just a late email..
Not a canceled visit due to someone getting sick.
Not an “I’m so sorry, we’re running behind.”
No — they simply stopped communicating.
This isn’t about the families who try, who juggle life and chaos and still show up.
This is about the ones who didn’t show up at all.
A Second Pregnancy… A Second Chance
Years later, that same birth mother needed to place another baby.
And the original adoptive family?
They desperately hoped to adopt again.
Two siblings—raised together.
Beautiful. Right?
It should have been possible.
But it wasn’t.
Because the first promise wasn’t kept.
Birth mothers never forget the children they carried.
They never stop wondering if they’re okay.
And they deserve to know the truth—that their baby is safe, loved, and thriving.
Why Trust Matters, Especially in an Open Adoption
Adoptive parents don’t communicate because it might lead to another placement.
They communicate because:
It’s the right thing to do.
It’s compassionate.
It’s part of your child’s story.
Trust is a foundation your child will eventually stand on.
If the birth family couldn’t trust you… will your child believe they can?
Types of Communication in Open Adoption
Every adoption looks different:
- Some families do holidays and lunches.
- Some use texts, FaceTime, or social media.
- Some communicate through the agency for privacy.
- Some birth mothers want space until life feels steadier.
All of them are valid.
But no matter the form, one thing remains the same:
You have to be trustworthy.
Someday—maybe next year, maybe in twenty—your child may meet their birth family.
When that day comes, don’t you want them to know:
“My parents kept every promise.”
Our Hearts Connect
A tool created for the very problem this story exposes.
Before Heart to Heart Adoptions used Our Hearts Connect, keeping communication steady was harder. Emails were lost. People changed phones. Life got busy. Birth mothers waited for updates.
Now, with those families who use Our Hearts Connect we have discovered:
No more missed messages.
No more lost photos.
No more wondering.
Our Hearts Connect creates a secure, agency-supported place where:
- Adoptive families upload photos
- Birth mothers receive updates
- Messages stay organized
- Privacy stays protected
- And no one has to hand out their personal number or email
It lets families keep their promises easily.
Thinking About Adoption? Already in an Open Adoption?
Heart to Heart Adoptions can help you create a plan that honors everyone involved—especially your child.
And with Our Hearts Connect, maintaining communication is easier than ever.
Learn more about Our Hearts Connect
Talk with an adoption specialist today
