Breaking the Cycle: How My Adoption Shaped My Parenting
Alexander vowed to raise his adopted child with openness, honesty, and answers he never got growing up.
Adoption left its mark on Alexander.
It didn’t break him.
Instead, it gave him a map—and the resolve to do things differently for his own child.
Giving My Child the Answers I Never Got
“I always wished I knew more,” Alexander said. “More about why. More about my birth family. More about how my birth mother felt. What was going on? Was she okay?”
Deep Affection and Concern for the Birth Mother
Alexander’s son will grow up knowing his father deeply loves the woman who brought him into this world. Alexander’s feelings are genuine – he sees her beauty reflected in their child and speaks of her with tenderness and admiration.
Both families have created something beautiful together, connected by their shared love for this precious boy. They honor each other’s boundaries while nurturing their extended family bond, creating a foundation of warmth and respect that will surround him as he grows.
The little boy will always know he is deeply wanted and celebrated by all who love him.
Because he always wanted to know more about his own adoption, Alexander made a quiet vow–no child of his would be left wondering.
“We told our child from the beginning. No secrets,” he said. “They deserve to know they were chosen and loved.”
Why We Chose Openness from Day One
Openness wasn’t scary for Alexander. It felt like healing.
“When you grow up with questions, you want to remove them for your kid,” he said.
Open, candid communication is not always easy. But it’s honest. And in that honesty, trust grows.
Teaching Identity, Not Erasing Origins
Some families hide adoption or avoid conversations about the child’s origin. Many people believe this is a more effective and easier approach. Alexander disagrees.
“Our child will know their story. We’ll talk about their birth family, their roots,” he said. “It doesn’t take away from our love. It adds to it.”
That layered identity matters. It tells a child: You don’t have to choose between us and them.
How My Adoption Experience Made Me a Fierce Advocate
Alexander doesn’t just love his child—he fights for him. For his story. Their voice.
“I speak up. I’ll always make sure they’re seen,” he said.
Being adopted taught Alexander that silence and can feel like erasure.
He won’t let that happen on his watch.
He will talk about the adoption experience with his child. He will talk about the child’s birth family. He will talk about the child’s birth family and what talents they have and their culture.
Alexander is not parenting from fear. He’s parenting from experience. And it shows.
