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Open adoption in New York: what it means and how it actually works
Open adoption means you stay connected with your child after placement. New York law lets you set up a contact plan that a judge can approve and enforce. This is not necessarily true in all the states. But New York wants to protect birth mothers in their desire to keep in touch with their children. This is real protection for contact and not just a promise that can easily be broken.
Every birth mother is unique, and every birth mother has a different vison of how the contact will be in the future. It might be visits, photos, messages, or calls. It is something that you and the adoptive family can talk about and decide what works best.
New York is different from most states. The contact plan can be approved by a judge and then it can be enforced by law. Heart to Heart helps you build and document that plan from the start.
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Ithaca, New York Office
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Reviewed by: Jodi Grizzle, LCSW (Clinical Director) | Wendy Knowles, Birth Parent Support Specialist
Last reviewed: June 2026
What does 'open adoption' actually mean?
It means there’s ongoing contact between you and the adoptive family after placement. Open adoption isn’t one fixed thing. Most birth mothers such as yourself will want a range. You might want to text the family every week and get a picture with that text. Another woman might want to visit for a birthday. You might want to speak on the phone with your child. It’s a range. Both are open adoption. Both are valid.
Open adoption looks different for every birth family, but this type of adoption allows you to receive updates, photos, and even stay in touch with your child as they grow up. Often birth parents build relationships with the adoptive family. This allows them to remain part of the child’s life.
What is a Post-Adoption Contact Agreement and can it be enforced?
Yes. This is one of New York’s biggest protections for birth mothers. New York lets birth parents and adoptive families write down how often and in what way contact will happen. Once a judge approves that plan as part of the adoption, it becomes enforceable by law.
That means your contact plan isn’t just based on trust. Judges and the courts will make sure that everyone abides by the plan. That doesn’t, however, mean that the order can’t be changed or adjusted when it meets everyone’s needs. Heart to Heart makes sure the plans we help build are clear, specific, and written down properly.
What are the different levels of open adoption in New York?
- Open adoption: direct, ongoing contact — you can exchange contact info and talk directly. Visits are possible.
- Semi-open adoption: contact goes through Heart to Heart or OurHeartsConnect, our private app. You get photos and updates without direct personal contact.
- Closed adoption: no names shared, no ongoing contact after placement. Less common today, but still a fully valid choice.
Most families today choose some form of open or semi-open adoption. But common doesn’t mean required. Your choice is the right one.
A New York adoption story
The pregnancy was difficult. The birth father had been difficult and abusive. Annette* decided that she wanted to move past this experience and only wanted yearly photos. There was such comfort and joy in receiving that first picture on her son’s first birthday, Annette realized that knowing her son was something she wanted. She asked if the original agreement could be changed to at least monthly pictures. Eventually, the family exchanged texts and emails several times a month.
What women ask about open adoption.
Explore each topic in more detail.
Will I still know how my child is doing?
In most open and semi-open adoptions, yes. How much and how often depends on the agreement you and the adoptive family set up together.
Can I receive pictures after placement?
Yes. Photos are one of the most common forms of contact in open and semi-open adoptions, often shared through OurHeartsConnect.
Can I have visits?
Yes, if that’s part of the agreement you and the adoptive family set up. Visits are possible in open adoption and can be written into your Post-Adoption Contact Agreement.
What if I want more contact later?
Talk to your caseworker. Many families are open to adjusting contact over time, and your caseworker can help start that conversation.
What if I want less contact later?
That’s okay too. Your caseworker can help you navigate that conversation with care, for your sake and the adoptive family’s.
What happens if the family moves?
Your contact agreement doesn’t depend on the family staying in one place. If they move, the agreement still applies, and Heart to Heart stays available to help if logistics need to be worked out.
Can my child contact me later?
In open adoption, often yes, depending on what’s been agreed to and your child’s age. Many open adoption relationships continue and grow as the child gets older.
Are open adoption agreements enforceable in New York?
Yes, once a judge approves the agreement as part of the adoption. That’s one of New York’s strongest protections for birth mothers who want ongoing contact.
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Will my child know they were adopted and who I am?
In open adoption, yes. Kids in open adoptions grow up knowing about the heritage and about their birth family. These children know that their birth mother chose adoption because she loved them. Research shows this leads to healthier outcomes than secrecy.
⬇Download: Questions to Ask Your Adoption Attorney (PDF)
(free PDF, no signup required)
What if the adoptive family stops keeping the contact agreement?
If your Post-Adoption Contact Agreement was approved by a judge, you have legal options. Heart to Heart also stays involved after placement. Your caseworker can speak up for you directly if contact promises aren’t being kept.
⬇Download: Questions to Ask an Adoptive Family (PDF)
(free PDF, no signup required)
New York Downloadable PDFs to Help Plan an Adoption
→ Adoption Help in New York City
→ Adoption Help on Long Island, New York
→ Adoption Help in Albany and the Capital Region
→ Adoption Help in Buffalo and Western New York
→ Adoption Help in Rochester, New York
→ Adoption Help in Syracuse and Central New York
→ Adoption Help in the Hudson Valley, New York
→ Adoption Help for Upstate and Rural New York
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