A Utah Birth Mother Chose Her. Then Disappeared Before a Photo Could Be Taken.

The Meeting: Two Women, One Baby, a Shared Hope for Openness

“We chatted,” Heather said about her meeting with this shy birth mother. “I wanted her to know that she could always be a part of the baby’s life.”

The birth mother had chosen Heather to raise the child six weeks earlier. At the time, Heather was determined to make sure they took pictures with the birth mother so as the little girl grew up, she would know what her birth mother looked like.

The Picture That Was Never Taken and What It Meant

“My older daughter would have liked to have had a picture. So I really wanted one for this new little girl. But she (birthmother) didn’t want to,” Heather said. “I don’t blame her. You don’t feel your best when you’ve had a baby.”

“My older daughter would have liked to have had a picture of her birth mother. Of course, there are pictures of me with her as an infant and pictures of our friends, and of her grandparents, but there are not pictures of her with her birth mother.”

“So I really wanted one for this new little girl. But she (birthmother) didn’t want to,” Heather said. “I don’t blame her. You don’t feel your best when you’ve had a baby.”

Heather has thought about that absence. A photograph would have been something concrete to give the little girl someday. Without it, the story would have to be told in words alone.

Open adoption doesn’t always look the way you picture it. Sometimes it begins in a hospital hallway. Sometimes it begins without a photograph. And sometimes, what matters most is what was said. Not necessarily a picture.

About Heart to Heart Adoptions in Utah

Heart to Heart Adoptions is a licensed, nonprofit adoption agency serving birth mothers and adoptive families across Utah. If you are pregnant in Utah and considering your options, counseling is free and available 24 hours a day. You do not have to have made any decision to call.