Lesson 1 of 5
How do we get started?
Explore the paths to adoption, think about what fits your family, and understand the questions worth asking before you begin.
Find your starting point
There is more than one path to adoption.
Domestic agency adoption
An agency guides preparation, matching, support, and the legal process. Heart to Heart specializes in domestic infant adoption.
Independent adoption
Arranged without an agency, with legal professionals.
Kinship adoption
A relative adopts a child.
International adoption
Adoption involving a child from another country.
Foster care adoption
Adoption when a child’s case moves toward that goal.
A decision you make together
What are we ready to welcome into our lives?
Choosing a path means talking honestly about the relationships, uncertainty, and support your family can sustain.
- How do we feel about contact with a child’s birth family?
- What ages, backgrounds, and needs are we prepared to support?
- Where do we need more information before deciding?
You do not need every answer today.
What might we know—and what might remain uncertain?
Prenatal information
Ask what is documented, what is self-reported, and what remains unknown. A qualified medical professional can help you understand the available information.
Birth father questions
Ask what legal work has been done and what uncertainty remains. The adoption attorney explains the facts and law for the situation.
Learn about these questions before you are asked to decide about a particular adoption situation.
What should we understand about the costs?
Adoption involves agency fees and other expenses. Understand what is included, what can change, and when payments are due.
Agency placement fee
$48,000
At matching
$24,000
At placement
$24,000
Other expenses apply, including the home study, application, travel, finalization, and situation-specific costs.
A moment to make it yours
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What Types of Adoption Are There?
If you know you want to grow your family but you are not sure what type of adoption is the best for you and your family, then we want to help you answer any questions you have. There is more than one way to adopt, and the experience can be very different depending on the path you choose.
Heart to Heart Adoptions is an agency that provides domestic infant adoption services. But we can help you understand other types of adoption so you can decide how domestic adoption fits with the other choices you have. We’re willing and happy to steer you to the best situation for you. Before we spend the rest of this Guide talking about domestic infant adoption through Heart to Heart Adoptions, it helps to see where it fits among your other choices.
What Are the Main Types of Adoption?
Families can grow through several different adoption paths. The five most common are domestic agency adoption, independent adoption, kinship adoption, international adoption and adoption from foster care. Each has its own process, costs, timelines and legal requirements.
What Is Domestic Agency Adoption?
You work with an adoption agency that helps with preparation, matching, support and the legal steps of adoption where the adoptive parents and the birth parents live in the same country. Heart to Heart Adoptions works primarily in domestic infant adoption. But we have friends and colleagues who work with other types of adoption, especially foster care adoption and international adoption. We’d love to introduce you.
What Is Independent Adoption?
An independent adoption is arranged without an adoption agency. Attorneys and other professionals usually help the birth parents and adoptive parents complete the legal process.
What Is Kinship Adoption?
Kinship adoption happens when a relative, such as a grandparent, aunt, uncle or other family member, adopts a child.
What Is International Adoption?
International adoption involves adopting a child from another country. Families must meet the requirements of the child’s country as well as U.S. immigration and adoption requirements. If this is of interest to you, we suggest you go to Hand in Hand International and meet Bonnie and her staff.
What Is Foster Care Adoption?
Foster care adoption involves adopting a child whose case has moved from foster care toward adoption. The children available for adoption through foster care are often older than infants, and sibling groups may also need families.
Are Surrogacy and Embryo Donation Types of Adoption?
No. Surrogacy and embryo donation are ways families may grow, but legally they are not adoption. They follow different processes and laws.
A few more questions
Which type of adoption does Heart to Heart Adoptions provide?
Heart to Heart Adoptions works primarily with families pursuing domestic infant adoption.
Is foster care the same as domestic infant adoption?
No. Foster care and domestic infant adoption have different goals, processes and legal paths.
Is surrogacy an adoption?
No. Surrogacy is a different legal and family-building process.
Do we need to choose an adoption path before contacting Heart to Heart Adoptions?
No. You can ask questions and learn more before deciding whether domestic infant adoption fits your family.
Which Type of Adoption Is Right for Our Family?
There is not one type of adoption that is right for every family. We have families who adopted domestically and then grew their family again by going international. We have families who adopted through us and now have foster children in their home. Each of these families is unique. What feels comfortable to you may feel completely different to another family.
This is the time to talk openly about what you hope adoption will look like, what you are prepared for and where you may need more information before making a decision.
What Should We Think About Before Choosing an Adoption Path?
You do not need to have every answer today. You need to think through these questions and answer yourself honestly. You also need to recognize how this will affect extended family and if their attitudes will have an effect on your child.
The goal is to notice which questions matter most to your family and learn enough to make a thoughtful decision.
How Important Is a Genetic Connection to Us?
How important is a genetic connection to you? This is worth talking about before moving forward. Do you need a genetic connection to your child? Do you need your child to look like you and your extended family? Are you okay with every stranger and every acquaintance instantly recognizing that adoption was how your child entered your family?
How Do We Feel About Contact With a Child’s Birth Family?
Domestic infant adoption often includes some form of openness with a child’s birth mother or birth family. Think about what kind of relationship you can genuinely support over time. Are you willing to send pictures? Are you willing to have visits? There are birth mothers who want no contact. Some birth mothers just want infrequent communications. Some want to have visits. Talk with us about those options and how you feel about them.
Are We Open to Different Ages, Races or Backgrounds?
Different adoption paths involve children of different ages and backgrounds. Be honest with yourself about what you are prepared to support, including the responsibilities that come with transracial adoption and adoption of older children. Recognize these children deserve and need a family, but they also come with challenges you may need help with.
What Can We Realistically Afford?
The cost of adoption can vary significantly. Recognize these differences. It might feel uncomfortable to think about cost when it is tied to the love you feel for a child. But be realistic about what is involved financially. Before committing, understand what is included, what can vary and when payments are due.
How Much Legal Uncertainty Are We Comfortable With?
Every adoption has legal steps. Some situations may involve more uncertainty than others, including questions about a biological father’s rights. Heart to Heart Adoptions will explain known concerns before you decide whether to move forward with a specific situation.
How Does Availability Affect Our Decision?
The number and ages of children needing families, the preferences of birth mothers, your own preferences and the adoption path you choose can all affect how long the process takes.
What Do We Need to Know About Prenatal Substance Exposure?
Some expectant mothers may report alcohol, tobacco, prescription medication or other substance use during pregnancy. Some mothers have and are using harmful substances and don’t report. We tell every potential adoptive family everything we know about the birth mother’s situation as it relates to the baby. Learning what is known, what is not known and what questions to ask can help you make informed decisions.
What Do We Need to Know About Birth Father Risk?
Birth fathers have different rights in different states. We are aware of these rights and the variation in laws across state borders. Heart to Heart Adoptions will discuss all of this with you. Your team will explain the known legal concerns and what remains uncertain in a particular situation.
Do We Have to Decide Everything Right Now?
No. Some of your answers may change as you learn more. Heart to Heart Adoptions works primarily with families pursuing domestic infant adoption, so that is where the rest of this Guide will take you. We will talk much more about prenatal substance exposure, birth father risk, cost, openness and matching before you are asked to make decisions about a particular adoption situation.
A few more questions
What should we compare when choosing an adoption path?
Think about the age of the child, contact with birth family, cost, timing, legal process, race and culture, medical history and the kind of relationship you hope to have with the child’s birth family.
What if my spouse and I are comfortable with different things?
That is worth discussing before you apply. You do not need identical reactions to every issue, but you should understand where each of you has firm boundaries and where you are open to learning more.
Can our preferences change while we wait?
Yes. Families often learn more as they move through the process. Talk with Heart to Heart Adoptions before changing preferences that affect the situations you may be considered for.
What is domestic agency adoption, and how does it work?
Domestic agency adoption is adoption within the same country with the support of a licensed adoption agency. Heart to Heart Adoptions specializes in domestic infant adoption. Independent, kinship, foster care and international adoption follow different paths, as explained above.
Domestic infant adoption is a process in which an expectant parent makes an adoption plan for a baby and chooses an approved adoptive family. The process includes preparation, matching, legal consent, placement, post-placement supervision and finalization.
Domestic infant adoption is a process in which a birth mother makes an adoption plan for a baby and chooses an approved adoptive family. The process includes preparation, matching, legal consent, placement, post-placement supervision and finalization.
What is domestic agency adoption?
Domestic infant adoption is an adoption in which an expectant parent makes an adoption plan for a baby and chooses an approved adoptive family. In a Heart to Heart Adoptions adoption, the family completes its approval work before matching, the birth mother receives support while making her decisions, and the legal steps happen after birth according to the law that applies to the adoption.
Who Chooses the Adoptive Family?
The birth mother chooses the adoptive family. Heart to Heart Adoptions helps identify approved families whose preferences and abilities fit the known circumstances, then she reviews their profiles and decides which family she wants to know more about. The agency helps with the process, but it does not simply assign a baby to the next family on a list.
What Do We Need to Do Before We Can Be Matched?
Before matching, you need an approved home study and approval from Heart to Heart Adoptions. You will also prepare an adoptive family profile and continue your adoption education. Your home study establishes that you are approved to adopt; your profile helps a birth mother learn who you are. the “What Is an Adoption Home Study?” answer for the home study and Questions 12 and 11 for family profiles.
What Does It Mean to Be Matched?
A match begins when a birth mother chooses an approved family and the family decides to move forward with her adoption situation. Matching creates a relationship and begins more detailed planning, but it does not guarantee that placement will occur. The birth mother still has the right to make decisions about her pregnancy and child before valid consent or relinquishment.
Is a Match the Same as an Adoption?
No. A match is an agreement to move forward with an adoption plan, not a completed adoption. Birth, legal consent or relinquishment, placement, post-placement supervision and finalization still come later. Understanding those separate stages can make the process much less confusing.
What Is the Difference Between Placement and Finalization?
Placement is the legal transfer of physical custody of the child to the adoptive parents after the required legal steps allow it. Finalization is the later court process that legally completes the adoption. Families begin parenting at placement, but the adoption is not legally final until the court enters the final adoption decree.
A few more questions
Does an adoption agency choose the adoptive family?
Heart to Heart Adoptions helps identify families whose preferences fit the situation, but the birth mother reviews profiles and chooses the family she wants to consider.
Can we be matched before our home study is complete?
You will need an approved home study before you can move forward as an approved adoptive family.
What does matched mean?
A match begins after a birth mother chooses a family and both sides decide to move forward together.
Is matching the same as placement?
No. Matching happens before birth or placement. Placement is the legal transfer of physical custody after the required legal steps are complete.
When is the adoption final?
Finalization happens later through the court process, usually after post-placement requirements are completed.
Is Domestic Infant Adoption Right for Our Family?
Domestic infant adoption can be a good path for many families, but it asks families to prepare for uncertainty, openness, legal processes and a relationship with a child's birth family. This page helps you decide whether that fits your family.
Why Do We Want to Adopt?
Start with the reasons adoption appeals to your family. If infertility or another loss is part of your story, give yourself room to talk about that. Adoption should not ask a child or a birth parent to heal you. Give yourself room to grieve. The question is whether you are ready to parent a child that is not genetically related to you. A child who also has another story that you need to respect.
Are We Ready for the Uncertainty of Adoption?
Domestic infant adoption includes a lot of uncertainty. You may wait longer than expected. A match may not lead to placement. Medical or family information may be incomplete. Legal questions can arise. Being ready does not mean you are comfortable with every possible outcome. It means you understand that some parts of the process cannot be controlled.
How Do We Feel About Open Adoption?
Most families considering domestic infant adoption should expect to talk seriously about contact with the biological family. This contact normally starts before birth and continues in some form after placement of the child. Many birth mothers want openness and once they have met the adoptive family they even want more because of the bond that occurs. Open adoption can include messages, photographs, calls, visits or a combination that fits the people involved. Before moving forward, talk honestly about what kind of relationship you can maintain over time, not just what feels easy to promise while you are waiting.
Also recognize that open adoption and the relationship with the birth mother changes as the child grows. Open adoption, however, does not mean co-parenting. You are the parent.
What Circumstances Are We Prepared to Consider?
Birth mothers are placing their baby for a multitude of reasons. Usually, it is because there are problems in her life. As a potential adoptive family, you need to think about the circumstances you are genuinely prepared to accept. That can include prenatal substance exposure, medical uncertainty, race and culture, birth father risk, openness. You do not need to say yes to every situation. If there are risks you are unwilling to accept, say something. You are making a monumental decision.
How Will Adoption Affect the Rest of Our Family?
Adoption affects more than the people completing the application. You must involve the children already in your home. You do this in an appropriate manner. You should also talk with relatives who will have regular roles in the child's life. Think about how your family talks about race, birth families, privacy and belonging. If some of the language is inappropriate it doesn’t mean you don’t adopt. It does mean you have to be ready to educate them or limit contact. You probably can’t get everyone to use perfect language immediately. But they need to be willing to learn and support your decision to parent an adopted child.
What Support Will We Need?
To varying degrees, you will need support. Maybe that support is someone who will listen, someone who will give you a break. What is your employer willing to do for you? Think beyond the first weeks with a baby. Heart to Heart Adoptions provides education and case support throughout the process, and families should be willing to ask for help when they need it.
A few more questions
How do we know if we are ready to adopt?
Readiness is less about feeling completely certain and more about understanding the process, talking honestly as a family and knowing which circumstances you are prepared to consider.
Do we have to be comfortable with open adoption?
You should be willing to learn about open adoption and think carefully about the contact you can honestly maintain.
What if spouses have different comfort levels?
Talk through the differences before moving forward. Adoption decisions should not depend on one person hoping the other will become comfortable later.
Should we decide now what substance exposure we can accept?
You should begin learning now. the “What Should Adoptive Parents Know About Prenatal Substance Exposure?” answer gives you a framework for asking medical questions and thinking about uncertainty.
Should finances be part of this decision?
Yes. Adoption is also a financial commitment. the “How Much Does Adoption Through Heart to Heart Adoptions Cost?” answer before applying.
What Should Adoptive Parents Know About Prenatal Substance Exposure?
Prenatal substance exposure means a baby may have been exposed during pregnancy to alcohol, nicotine, prescribed medication or other substances. The amount of information available can vary, and exposure alone does not tell you exactly what a child's future will be.
What Does Prenatal Substance Exposure Mean?
Prenatal substance exposure means a baby may have been exposed during pregnancy to alcohol, nicotine, prescribed medication or other substances. The type of substance, amount, timing and frequency may all matter, but families do not always receive complete information about each of those factors. We only know what we can test for and what the birth mother tells us.
What Information Might Be Available?
Information can come from the birth mother's self-reported history, prenatal or hospital records, testing and observations from medical professionals. Heart to Heart Adoptions shares the information available for the situation. Families should pay attention to the source of the information as well as the information itself.
What Information Might Be Missing?
Sometimes no one knows the exact amount, frequency or timing of an exposure. Prenatal care may have started late, records may be incomplete, or information may be based mainly on self-report. An unknown is not the same thing as a negative result. Ask what is known, what is not known and whether additional information is expected.
Does Exposure Always Predict a Child's Future?
No. A disclosed exposure does not tell you exactly what a child's development or health will look like. Outcomes can vary, and the information available during a match may not answer every long-term question. Families should avoid treating one disclosure as either a guarantee of a problem or a guarantee that there will be no effect.
What Questions Should We Ask?
Ask what substance was reported, when and how often it was reportedly used, what prenatal care occurred, what medical records are available and whether a medical professional has reviewed the information. Also ask which facts are self-reported and which are documented. If you need medical help understanding the information, seek an appropriate professional before deciding.
How Do We Decide What Our Family Can Handle?
You should really consider what Make this decision before emotion takes over during a presenting call. Learn about the types of exposure you may encounter, talk together about uncertainty and decide when you would want medical input. You are not required to accept a situation. A thoughtful no is better than saying yes to circumstances your family is not prepared to support.
A few more questions
Will we always know exactly what a baby was exposed to?
No. Information may be incomplete or based on self-report, medical records or testing that is available at the time.
Does prenatal exposure guarantee long-term problems?
No. Outcomes vary. Families should avoid treating one disclosed exposure as a certain prediction of a child's future.
Can we ask a medical professional to review a situation?
Yes. Families may want an appropriate medical professional to help them understand the information available and the limits of that information.
Can we decline a situation because we are not comfortable with the exposure information?
Yes. You are not required to accept an adoption situation.
Should we decide our limits before a presenting call?
It helps to discuss your comfort level in advance so you are not making every decision for the first time during an emotional call.
What Is Birth Father Risk in Adoption?
Birth father risk is Heart to Heart Adoptions' term for legal uncertainty involving the biological father's rights, identity, notice, consent or actions required under applicable law. The facts and legal requirements can differ from one adoption to another.
What Does Birth Father Risk Mean?
Birth father risk is Heart to Heart Adoptions' term for legal uncertainty involving the biological father's identity, rights, notice, consent or actions required under applicable law. The level of uncertainty can be very different from one adoption situation to another.
Why Can Birth Father Rights Be Uncertain?
The legal answer can depend on facts such as marriage, established paternity, notice, support, registration and whether the biological father takes action within the time required by law. Those rules also vary by state. That is why one family's birth father situation should not be used as the legal rule for another adoption.
What Information Does Heart to Heart Adoptions Review?
Heart to Heart Adoptions and the attorneys handling the adoption review the information available about the biological father and the legal steps required for that situation. During a presenting call, the family should be told what is known, what legal work has already occurred and what remains uncertain.
What Questions Should We Ask Before Accepting a Situation?
Ask whether the biological father has been identified, what is known about his relationship with the birth mother, whether he supports or opposes the plan, what notice or legal steps may be required and what uncertainty remains. Ask whether additional legal work could affect timing or expenses. You are trying to understand the situation, not become the lawyer.
Can We Decline a Situation With Birth Father Risk?
Yes. A family is not required to accept a situation when the level of legal uncertainty is outside its comfort level. Ask questions until you understand the risk as it is currently known, then decide whether your family is prepared to proceed.
How Is This Different From Birth Father Rights?
Birth father risk describes the uncertainty an adoptive family may need to consider before accepting a situation. Birth father rights are the actual legal rights and required actions that apply to the biological father under the facts and law of that adoption. the “What Rights Does the Birth Father Have in Adoption?” answer explains birth father rights in more detail.
A few more questions
Does every adoption have the same birth father issues?
No. The facts, relationships and state laws differ.
Does an unmarried biological father automatically have no rights?
No. Rights and required actions depend on the facts and applicable law.
Who evaluates birth father issues?
Adoption attorneys review the facts and applicable legal requirements.
Can we ask about known legal risk before matching?
Yes. The presenting call should include known legal concerns available at that time.
Can additional legal work affect cost?
Sometimes. Ask about known legal and financial implications before accepting a match and review the “How Much Does Adoption Through Heart to Heart Adoptions Cost?” answer.
How Much Does Adoption Through Heart to Heart Adoptions Cost?
Heart to Heart Adoptions' current agency placement fee is $48,000, with $24,000 due at matching and $24,000 due at placement. The current orientation estimates that families may pay about $55,000 to $65,000 overall before medical costs, depending on where the home study, post-placement visits and finalization occur. Situation-specific expenses can add to that total.
When Do We Pay Adoption Fees?
Heart to Heart Adoptions does not require the entire agency placement fee at the beginning. The current payment schedule follows major stages of the adoption process.
What Does the $48,000 Agency Placement Fee Support?
The $48,000 agency placement fee supports work across the adoption. Heart to Heart Adoptions' current orientation breaks that fee down as approximately $10,000 for marketing, $10,000 for caring for birth parents and the child, $5,000 for matching, $5,000 for counseling and case management, $4,000 for delivery and a meeting between the adoptive family and birth mother and her child, $5,000 for relinquishment and placement, $3,000 for PACA and Our Hearts Connect, and $6,000 for legal coordination and overhead. This is an agency fee, not a payment to a birth mother.
Are Pregnancy-Related Expenses Included?
Some lawful pregnancy-related assistance can be situation-specific and may be separate from the agency placement fee. Before accepting a match, review the financial agreement so you understand which expenses are included, which are specific to the situation and which amounts could still change. Pregnancy-related assistance does not purchase consent and does not require an expectant mother to place.
Are Medical and Legal Expenses Included?
Medical expenses depend on the birth mother's insurance, Medicaid eligibility, hospital care and the circumstances of the pregnancy and delivery. Legal coordination is part of the adoption process, but additional legal work can create separate expenses in some situations. Finalization is also a separate legal expense. Ask what is known before you accept a match.
What Should We Budget for Travel and ICPC?
If the baby is born outside your state, budget for airfare or mileage, lodging, local transportation, meals and possible changes to travel plans. ICPC can require you to remain in the child's birth state until the required interstate approval is received, and the length of that stay cannot always be predicted. the “What Is ICPC and Why Do Adoptive Families Have to Wait?” answer explains ICPC in more detail.
What Financial Questions Should We Ask Before Accepting a Match?
Ask what is due when you accept the match, what situation-specific expenses are anticipated, whether medical or additional legal costs are expected, what travel may be required and which expenses could still change. You should understand the available financial information before agreeing to move forward, even when some future costs cannot yet be known.
What Should We Know About the Federal Adoption Tax Credit?
A federal Adoption Tax Credit may be available to eligible families for certain qualified adoption expenses. The rules, limits, income phaseouts and timing can change by tax year. Keep your adoption-related receipts and records, check current IRS guidance for the year that applies to your expenses and consider a qualified tax professional if you need help applying the rules to your return.
Current Fee Snapshot
- Utah Heart to Heart Adoptions home study: $850
- Application: $2,000
- At matching: $24,000
- At placement: $24,000
- Utah post-placement visit: $150 each
- Finalization: approximately $3,000 to $5,000
- Estimated overall cost before medical costs: approximately $55,000 to $65,000, depending on where the home study, post-placement visits and finalization occur; situation-specific expenses vary
Current Orientation Breakdown of the $48,000 Agency Placement Fee
- Marketing: $10,000
- Caring for birth parents and child: $10,000
- Matching: $5,000
- Counseling and case management: $5,000
- Delivery and a meeting between you and the birth mother and her child: $4,000
- Relinquishment and placement: $5,000
- PACA and Our Hearts Connect: $3,000
- Legal coordination and overhead: $6,000
Federal Adoption Tax Credit
- A federal Adoption Tax Credit may be available to eligible families.
- Eligibility, income limits, qualified expenses, refundable amounts and timing rules can change.
- Families should check current IRS guidance and consider a qualified tax professional.
A few more questions
How much is Heart to Heart Adoptions' agency placement fee?
The current agency placement fee is $48,000, with $24,000 due at matching and $24,000 due at placement.
How much is the Heart to Heart Adoptions application fee?
The current application fee is $2,000 and is paid after the home study is complete.
How much is a Heart to Heart Adoptions Utah home study?
The current complete home study fee is $850. A home study update is $250, and each Utah post-placement visit is currently $150.
Are all expenses included in the $48,000 fee?
No. Situation-specific pregnancy-related support, travel, medical circumstances, additional legal work and finalization can create other expenses.
How much should we estimate for finalization?
Heart to Heart Adoptions' current orientation estimates approximately $3,000 to $5,000, although actual attorney and court costs vary.
What about the federal Adoption Tax Credit?
A federal Adoption Tax Credit may be available. Rules, limits, phaseouts and timing can change by tax year, so families should review current IRS guidance and consider speaking with a tax professional.
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Heart to Heart Adoptions · Adoptive parent education
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