Lesson 3 of 5
How do we prepare to be matched?
Introduce your real family, build a thoughtful profile, and make room for the waiting period.
Let your family come through
Help someone picture real life.
An adoptive family profile helps an expectant mother begin to understand who you are, what everyday life feels like, and how you think about adoption.
Specific and honest is more useful than perfect.
How do we make a profile feel personal?
A general description
“We are a loving, active family.”
A detail you can picture
“Saturday usually means pancakes, soccer, and dinner with Grandma.”
Details help a reader imagine ordinary life. Choose examples that are true for your family.
What should our photos and words show?
- People and relationships — show the people who are part of your life.
- Ordinary moments — choose images that support the stories you tell.
- Honest expectations — describe the openness you can realistically maintain.
A profile introduces you. It does not need to impress everyone.
What can we do while we wait?
01
Keep your profile current
Update photos and information as your life changes.
02
Continue learning
Build your understanding and feel more prepared.
03
Prepare for travel
Think ahead about finances, time off, and flexibility.
04
Talk with your team
Share changes that may affect your matching preferences.
There is no guaranteed match date.
An expectant mother’s preferences, your family’s preferences, and individual circumstances all matter.
A moment to make it yours
Let someone picture your real life.
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What Is an Adoptive Family Profile?
An adoptive family profile introduces your family to an expectant mother who is considering adoption.
It is not a résumé and it is not a contest to see which family can look the most impressive. Its job is to help someone get a real sense of who you are and what life with your family might be like.
How Does an Birth mother Use Our Profile?
When an adoption situation fits your stated preferences and abilities, an expectant mother may review your profile along with other appropriate families.
She can look at photographs, read about your family and begin deciding who she wants to know more about.
Does the Birth mother Really Choose the Family?
Yes. Heart to Heart Adoptions helps identify appropriate approved families, but the expectant mother makes the choice about which family she wants to pursue.
That is why your profile should sound like you rather than like an advertisement.
What Is the Difference Between a Public and Private Profile?
Heart to Heart Adoptions uses both public and private profile options. A public profile may be searchable or viewable by birth mothers, while other information can remain private within the matching process.
Your Heart to Heart Adoptions team will explain how the current profile system is being used.
Is Our Family Profile an Advertisement?
No. You are not selling a lifestyle. Avoid promises you cannot make and language that makes your family sound flawless.
Specific ordinary details often tell someone more than broad claims. Sunday breakfast, a noisy dog, cousins down the street or the way your family spends a Saturday can help a reader picture real life.
What Should We Say About Open Adoption?
Say what you genuinely believe you can maintain. If you hope for an ongoing relationship, explain what that means to you.
Do not promise a level of contact simply because you think it will make your profile more appealing.
Do We Need to Be a Perfect Family?
No. There is no universal 'best' adoptive family. Different expectant mothers are looking for different qualities, relationships, locations, traditions and family structures.
Your goal is to be understandable and honest.
A few more questions
Who chooses the adoptive family?
The birth mother chooses the family she wants to consider.
Should our profile sound like a sales brochure?
No. Clear, specific and honest information is more useful.
Should we promise as much contact as possible?
No. Promise only the openness you believe you can maintain.
Can profiles include photos and video?
Yes. Heart to Heart Adoptions' profile process can include images and video.
What happens if an expectant mother wants to know more?
The process may move toward a presenting call or other matching steps.
How Do We Create an Adoptive Family Profile?
A good profile answers the question a birth mother is really asking: Who are these people?
You do not need a clever slogan. You need enough real information for someone to begin imagining your family, relationships and everyday life.
What Should We Write About?
Write about your family, relationships, work, interests, traditions, community and the people who would be part of a child's life.
Choose details that reveal something. 'We love the outdoors' is broad. 'We spend summer evenings at the neighborhood pool and camp with my sister's family every August' gives a clearer picture.
What Photos Should We Use?
Use clear photographs that show your family naturally. Include a mix of people, relationships, home life and activities rather than dozens of nearly identical posed photos.
Photographs should support what the text says. If extended family is important, show them. If you talk about your neighborhood or traditions, give the reader a glimpse.
What Should We Say to an Expectant Mother?
Write to her as a person making a serious decision. Avoid language that assumes she will choose adoption or assumes you already have a relationship with her.
You can express gratitude for her willingness to learn about your family without telling her what she should feel.
How Should We Talk About Why We Want to Adopt?
Explain your path honestly, but do not make a birth mother responsible for repairing a loss or completing your family.
Keep the focus on what you have learned and why you are prepared to parent through adoption.
How Should We Talk About Open Adoption?
Be concrete. If you hope for visits, messages, photos or calls, explain how you imagine making room for that relationship.
Should We Include Video?
Video can help someone hear your voices and see how you interact. Keep it natural. A simple conversation or short look at your everyday life can be more effective than an elaborate production.
What Makes a Profile Memorable?
Specificity. A profile becomes memorable when it sounds like actual people rather than a collection of adjectives.
Before publishing, ask: Could this paragraph describe almost any family? If yes, add a detail that belongs to yours.
A few more questions
What should our profile help an expectant mother understand?
Who you are, what everyday life is like and how you think about adoption and ongoing relationships.
Do we need professional-looking perfection?
No. Clear, thoughtful and genuine is more useful than flawless.
How many photos should we use?
Heart to Heart Adoptions should provide the current profile specifications. Do not invent a number that may change.
Should we include extended family?
If they are an important part of your life, yes.
Can video help?
Yes, when it helps someone hear and see your family naturally.
What Should We Do While We Wait for an Adoption Match?
Waiting can feel passive because there may be days when nothing seems to be happening.
It is still part of the adoption process. There are useful things you can do while Heart to Heart Adoptions continues working with birth mothers and considering appropriate families for situations.
What Is Heart to Heart Adoptions Doing While We Wait?
Heart to Heart Adoptions continues outreach, intake, support for expectant mothers and matching work. Not every situation will fit every approved family.
When a situation fits both the birth mother's preferences and your stated preferences and abilities, your family may be considered.
What Should We Be Doing While We Wait?
Keep your profile current. Continue adoption education. Talk about openness. Revisit the medical and legal circumstances you are prepared to consider.
Waiting is also a good time to prepare for the practical changes that can happen quickly after a match.
What If Our Preferences Change?
Tell Heart to Heart Adoptions. Your preferences are not a test you pass once. Families learn as they go, and sometimes their comfort level changes.
Do not quietly expand your preferences because you are tired of waiting. Make decisions because you understand the circumstances and believe they fit your family.
What If Something Changes in Our Family?
Tell Heart to Heart Adoptions and your home study provider about meaningful changes involving your household, address, employment or other circumstances that may affect your approval.
How Do We Prepare Financially?
Review the full adoption budget, make sure you understand the payment schedule and think about expenses that can arise quickly, including travel.
Is It Normal for Waiting to Be Hard?
Yes. You can be committed to adoption and still find the uncertainty difficult.
Try not to measure every week as evidence that something is wrong. Use the time to prepare, stay connected with your team and keep your decisions grounded in what your family can genuinely handle.
A few more questions
Will we hear about every adoption situation?
Not necessarily. Matching depends on the expectant mother's preferences and the family's stated preferences and abilities.
Can we change our preferences?
Yes. Talk with Heart to Heart Adoptions when your thinking changes.
Should we update the agency if our family circumstances change?
Yes.
What can we do financially while waiting?
Keep the budget current, review the “How Much Does Adoption Through Heart to Heart Adoptions Cost?” answer and prepare for possible travel and match-related expenses.
Should we stop adoption education once approved?
No. Waiting is a useful time to keep learning.
How Long Does It Take to Be Matched for Adoption?
There is no guaranteed wait time for domestic infant adoption.
Some Heart to Heart Adoptions families may wait weeks. Others may wait more than a year. The difference is not necessarily a sign that one family is doing something right and another is doing something wrong.
Why Can't Heart to Heart Adoptions Give Us an Exact Wait Time?
Because a birth mother chooses the family she wants to consider. Heart to Heart Adoptions cannot know in advance which family a particular woman will choose or when a situation that fits your preferences will arise.
What Can Affect How Long We Wait?
Your preferences can affect which situations fit your family. An expectant mother's preferences also matter. Your profile, location and the circumstances of individual situations can all play a part.
No single factor guarantees a faster match.
Will Being Open to More Situations Shorten the Wait?
Broader preferences may mean your family can be considered for more situations, but they do not guarantee a quick match.
Do not say yes to substance exposure, legal uncertainty, openness or other circumstances you are not prepared to handle simply to shorten the wait.
Does Our Profile Affect the Wait?
Your profile is one way a birth mother gets to know you, so it matters. But there is no formula that guarantees selection.
What If We Have Been Waiting a Long Time?
Talk with Heart to Heart Adoptions. Review your profile and preferences. Ask for a candid discussion about where your family stands.
Heart to Heart Adoptions' orientation says the team will tell families honestly where they stand.
Should We Change Our Preferences Because We Are Tired of Waiting?
Not for that reason alone. Waiting can make any new possibility feel urgent. Your decisions still need to be based on what you understand and what your family can support.
A few more questions
Can Heart to Heart Adoptions guarantee a match date?
No.
Do all approved families wait about the same amount of time?
No. Some may wait weeks and others more than a year.
Will broader preferences guarantee a faster match?
Should we accept circumstances we are not prepared for because we have waited a long time?
What can we do if the wait feels unusually long?
Ask Heart to Heart Adoptions to review your profile, preferences and current position with you.
Keep going
What happens from matching to placement?
Heart to Heart Adoptions · Adoptive parent education
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