Jessica Should Never Have Regrets About the Utah Adoption
Jessica lied to her mother and the rest of her family about her Adoption Placement in Utah.
She had been hiding her pregnancy; however, this deception was not going to be possible anymore. Instead of revealing her situation, she took her four-year-old and two-year-old sons, left her home state, and flew to Utah. She told her family she was going to school. She planned to place the baby with Wendi, never telling anyone she had been pregnant.
Wendi met Jessica through a Utah adoption caseworker.
The two women immediately felt a connection.
“We talked for hours that first night,” Wendi explained. “There was definitely a kinship, a relationship.”
However, two competing worries kept haunting Wendi–
However, two competing worries kept haunting Wendi-
Number 1–
Jessica could easily change her mind about placing the baby for adoption,
and the second worry was just as concerning
Number 2–
Wendi felt Jessica needed to tell her mother and make sure the birth father was agreeable to this Utah adoption.
Wendi recognized that her two concerns were incompatible.
Wendi deeply loved Jessica and was thrilled at the thought of becoming a mother to Jessica’s baby.
However, Wendi was determined that Jessica should never feel pressured into making such a life-changing decision. The hopeful adoptive mother believed it was essential for Jessica to approach the situation with honesty. Keeping the pregnancy a secret from the family didn’t sit right with Wendi, as she knew it would cast a shadow over their lives.
Additionally, Wendi didn’t want Jessica to feel compelled to place her baby for adoption in Utah simply because of the challenges they were facing at that moment in their lives.
Telling the baby’s biological grandmother might increase the likelihood that Jessica would decide to parent. As Wendi became more familiar with Jessica’s family dynamics, she recognized that Jessica’s grandmother would be the most upset about placement.
The women spent a week bonding with one another. “I didn’t want there to be lies and dishonesty,” Wendi said.
To ensure there was no deception, Wendi bought an airline ticket for Jessica’s mother to fly across the country and spend a week with Jessica and Wendi’s extended family.
Both Wendi’s mother and Jessica’s mother went to the hospital when the baby was born.
“I left Jessica and her mother together with the baby,” Wendi said of the night after the birth. “That was the worst night. I knew her mother would talk her out of placing the baby. But I knew this was the right way. I didn’t want her ever to feel coerced or manipulated.”
Jessica and her mother flew home and left the newborn with Wendi.
Jessica and Wendi frequently speak, discussing the child they share, the Utah adoption, and their gratitude that there are no secrets.
Wendi feels the relationship has remained close because “Everything I told Jessica I would do. I didn’t blow her off.”
As an agency, we encourage our adoptive parents to “Do everything they said they would do.”
This does not mean we, as a Utah adoption agency, become victims of some of the scams out there. We don’t want potential adoptive parents to be victimized. But just like in this recent placement, we always try to love the birth family and let them know of our love.
