Potential Adoptive Parents Should Know
Adopting Children with Special Needs
Embracing Unexpected Journeys: Adopting Children with Special Needs
Talisha is small, very young, and incredibly strong.
Her baby is small, born prematurely, and incredibly strong.
Talisha and her baby are bonded.
Bonded genetically.
Bonded by seven months of pregnancy.
Bonded by two months of hospital visits.
That bond will never be broken.
The woman tenderly cared for the 3-pound 15-ounce baby.
After bravely delivering the child two months early, Talisha was released from the hospital. She returned and quietly slipped into the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit). While there, the nurses tenderly placed the 3-pound 15-ounce baby into the teenager’s arms. Talisha gently rocked the tiny child, memorizing the petite face.
The nurses mentioned several times how loving Talisha was and, if she was really planning to place this child for adoption, should the adoption agency be encouraging this type of bonding?
“Yes. We should,” was our response.
We also encouraged Talisha to meet with a social worker. The social worker explained where Talisha could go to get support to raise the baby. Talisha and her mother listened carefully. Talisha was bonded to this new little human being.
The child had been conceived in a traumatic and stressful situation.
This fact didn’t change the fact Talisha wanted to remain a part of the little girl’s life.
When the infant finally gained enough weight to be released from the hospital, Talisha was there. Talisha’s mother also held the tiny infant. Then they placed the baby into the arms of the family who will raise her.
For several hours, the two families talked. They discussed how Talisha wanted her child raised. They discussed what part Talisha would play in the child’s future.
Talisha will always be bonded, and she will see her child regularly.
Just like she slipped into the NICU and watched her child grow, she will slip into her child’s life and watch her grow. But for Talisha, the best parenting plan was to place the child with a family she chose.
Talisha is small, very young, and incredibly brave.
Understanding Special Needs: More Than a Medical Label
Special needs can take many forms. Depending on the type and extent of substance use during pregnancy, these children may face different challenges. Some require just a few weeks of care to overcome withdrawal symptoms. Others, like a baby who recently spent nine months in the NICU, need long-term hospitalization and intensive medical attention.
We’ve worked with babies born as early as 29 weeks who spent several months in the hospital before going home. In some cases, adoptive parents relocate to be near their child for weeks or even months, sharing those early, critical moments and forming bonds that last a lifetime.
Some of the children we place were born to women struggling with drug addiction.
We often have children born premature.
Birth mother experiencing health problems that affect the child.
Genetic disorders such as Down syndrome or cystic fibrosis.
Toddlers who experience abuse, neglect, or other trauma.
Toddlers struggling with attachment disorder.
Preparing Your Heart and Mind
All children deserve parents who will love them unconditionally and provide the support they need to thrive. Adopting a child with a tough start requires more than a big heart—it requires honesty. Ask yourself:
- Am I emotionally prepared to walk alongside a child who may face physical, emotional, or developmental challenges?
- Am I physically able to manage the demands of frequent doctor visits, therapies, or unexpected hospital stays?
- Am I spiritually and mentally ready to embrace this journey, with its uncertainties and sacrifices?
Many adoptive parents tell us they feel God has placed this calling in their hearts. If that resonates with you, we encourage you to reflect deeply. Is this path one you feel truly drawn to? Or is this more than you feel capable of handling right now? Both answers are valid, and being honest with yourself is crucial.
Our Promise to You
Heart to Heart Adoptions is committed to transparency. We will:
- Provide comprehensive information about each child’s medical history
- Support you through every stage of the adoption process
- Connect you with resources and support networks
- Be your partner in this transformative journey
