Potential Adoptive Parents Should Know
Create a Family Profile for Your Adoption
How Heart to Heart Adoptions shares Your Story
Prospective families looking for a birth mother must complete an adoptive family profile, which will be shown to women considering adoption.
Your family profile is how a birth mother will get to know you. As a birth mother gets closer to her due date, we discuss with her what she wants in an adoptive family. We find families that meet those desires and then call the family.
For example, if we think you are a potential match for a birth mother, we will email you to tell you about her situation, leaving out all identifying information, of course. You can take a few days to consider whether you want to be “presented.”
If you agree, we will then present your family profile to her. Birth mothers are usually presented with two, three, or more profiles.
Often, a birth mother will immediately connect with a specific profile.
One birth mother recently saw a potential adoptive family’s Halloween activities.
This particular birth mother had loved Halloween since she was a child.
Because of this one snapshot on an inside page of the family profile, the pregnant woman wanted to speak with the family. Eventually, they met in person and are now in a healthy, open adoption.
Here are a few interesting details in a family profile that affect a birth mother’s decision.
“If my baby is their first child, I think they would really give her so much attention, and I want that for her.”
“I want my child to be raised by someone who already knows how to take care of a baby. This shouldn’t be their first child.”
“I wanted my child to have grass to play on. I hate the city.”
“I wanted my child to have the diversity that comes from living around a diverse group of people.”
“I laughed when I saw their dog swimming at that lake.”
“The father was a pole vaulter in college. I ran track. I really loved it.”
Our case workers strongly encourage our birth mothers to visit on the phone with any families that she is considering.
Your profile can be listed on our website if you desire; it doesn’t have to be. We would like to keep a hard copy and a digital copy, and we like a digital copy.
If you want advice on how to make an adoptive family profile continue reading.
How to Make Your Adoptive Family Profile Stand Out
Many of our families come to us after working with an adoption consultant. A family profile is typically part of the consultant’s package. They will have a template. If you are working with a consultant, your consultant probably has that as part of her package with a consultant. You just follow the template.
Beyond the Family Profile Template
Darla from a Utah adoption agency, who matches birth mothers with potential adoptive parents, has some suggestions that will enhance your profile beyond the template. These are the things she has seen that interest birthmothers, and they are often not reflected in typical templates.
Your openness to race.
“If you’re open to various races, then don’t just say it,” Darla said. “One way is to show it. Do you have friends of diverse races? Do your pictures reflect that? Do your children run around with children not of your same race? This is helpful for birth mothers.”
Your faith.
“Don’t be afraid to share your faith in your family profile,” Darla said. “For many birth moms, that is important; for other birth moms, that is not important. However, you want to be transparent about your life.”
Your reason for considering adoption.
“A birth mother will want to know why you want to add to your family,” Darla explained. “Be sure to clarify why this step is important to you. Birth mothers want to know.
“Many times, expecting moms are looking to help parents who can’t have children on their own. Some birth mothers want their child to have siblings, while other birth mothers would like their baby to be an only child or at least a first child. Your profile should reflect your family demographics.”
A profile book is best when it looks like a family reunion
Professional photos should be saved for the cover of your profile. In the interior, you should minimize professional, matchy-matchy shots. Instead, show who you really are, where you play, and what you do.
Birth mothers are not looking for a slick advertising campaign.
Instead, they are looking for connections and commonalities.
They want to be able to relate to you.
You don’t need to be perfect; you need real.
An adoptive parent needs to know your passions and be confident that the child will be stable.
Lots of pictures with brief explanations about the pictures.
As you create your adoptive parent profile, consider the emotional and uncertain time this may be for the birth parents. Try to empathize with the birth parents and offer comfort and reassurance. Regardless of the parent’s situation, they want their child to be raised in a secure and safe environment and have the best life possible.
After reading the above suggestions, go here to see a list of what your family profile should include.
Create a Heartfelt Family Profile to Connect with Expectant Parents
Craft a warm, inviting family profile that captures your unique story, interests, and excitement to adopt—keeping it candid, engaging, and relatable.
Your family profile should include:
A family summary. Who is in your family?
Perhaps an introduction to extended family members. Who you are close to. If your parents live close, cousins.
Describe your house, neighborhood, and community in a way that offers a warm, inviting glimpse without revealing specific addresses or identifiable details.
Pictures of you doing hobbies/activities/skills. Even what you are doing at work. Important to not make your profile too wordy. Don’t want it to be overwhelming to read. Think about social media today.
Make sure the majority of the pictures are candid. Expectant families want to see you in your elements. Anything that captures your family’s individuality. Maybe you go to football games. Maybe you raise chickens.
At Heart to Heart Adoptions, you aren’t going to be giving an extra letter. Everything you want the birth mother to know in your profile.
PLEASE don’t refer to her as mama. “Hey, mama. You’re such a good mama.”
Anything else that encapsulates your individuality, interests, lifestyle, and—most crucially—your enthusiasm to adopt a child.
Your profile will show the best parts of your life. A birth family is coming at a low point in their life. Maybe be a little vulnerable and show things you have overcome so she can see you’re a real person with real struggles.
Essential Do's and Don’ts for a Compelling Family Profile
Create a balanced, authentic family profile with our top dos and don’ts. Show your heart, stay respectful, and help birth mothers envision their child with you.
Your profile aims to help birth mothers envision their child as a member of your family. If a mother places with you, you will always be connected to this woman one way or another. Above all else, DO be honest.
Essential Do's For Your Profiles
–DO include a variety of pictures. Sometimes, families send us images that are so high quality that they don’t compress well.
–DO talk about your feelings concerning adoption
–DO show respect for the birth mother. Calling her mama isn’t respectful.
–DO discuss the type of adoption you are open to considering. You may be prepared for an open adoption, a semi-open adoption, or only a closed adoption. What kind of relationship do you want in the future? Relationships take time and don’t happen after one phone call or in a hospital room.
–DO use candid shots and be real.
–DO describe any connections you may have with adoption. Other family members who are adopted. Have you always dreamed of adopting? Did your sister place a child for adoption?
–DO include funny or interesting facts about you and your partner. Not too much.
–DO share the values and the culture that you want to pass on. This can be done with a few well-chosen pictures. Ethnicity and religion
–DO choose a great cover photo. This may be the beginning and end of everything. If you have children, put them on the cover with you.
–DO explain pictures with captions or short blurbs.
–DO show the experience you have with other children.
–DO show balance. Your life is full enough that you are desperate for a baby but not so full that you have no room for a child. Families with extremely time-consuming professional lives aren’t probably prepared to give adequate attention to a new baby.
–DO recognize that the text in your profile is important, but the photos will be the reason for reading the text.
–DO be descriptive but concise.
–DO avoid huge group pictures. You don’t want just a sea of faces.
–DO be sensitive to cultural differences.
Essential Do Not's For Your Profiles
–DON’T talk about money or brag about your possessions. Focus on sentiment over possessions.
–DON’T overdress. Give an honest reflection of your daily life.
–DON’T overwhelm the expectant mother with too much text. She will be reviewing multiple profiles, and if it is too much to read, she might skip over the profile.
–DON’T assume the birth family has already made up their minds. A woman isn’t committing to adoption simply by viewing profiles. When you say, “I applaud your decision,” or describe how excited you are to raise her child, you could be putting unwanted pressure on her. Always refer to the baby as hers. Acknowledging that she is at a crossroads. She is only considering adoption until the moment she signs.
–DON’T be gender specific. In your adoption plan with the agency, you may state whether you want a boy or a girl. Keep your profile language neutral. Birth parents often find gender-specific language unappealing.
–DON’T overthink it. Birth mothers are looking for different things. Just be honest and let the truth of your personality shine through.
–DON’T make the profile too long. Too much information can be overwhelming. Eight pages is often adequate, and no more than 12 should be included.
–DON’T include personal information like addresses, phone numbers, social media accounts, or your last name in the actual profile. Don’t be too specific about where you live. Some people scam adoptive families. Do be general enough so she at least knows you live in northern Michigan or the Gulf Coast.
–DON’T include more than one picture of a wedding. Most birth mothers want a traditional family; however, they don’t need to see an elaborate wedding. Don’t feel obligated to include any wedding pictures.