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A Utah Birth Mother Chose Her. Then Disappeared Before a Photo Could Be Taken.

The phone call came at 4:45 early Monday morning. A birth mother was in labor and wanted Heather to take the newborn home

Heather made two phone calls. One call to a friend who would watch the six-year-old Heather adopted six years earlier. And another call to tell her own mother that she was once again becoming a grandmother.

The new grandmother went with Heather, and they caught the first plane they could to Utah. By the time they rushed into the hospital, a baby was wrapped in a hospital blanket and spending time with her birth mother.

The Meeting: Two Women, One Baby, a Shared Hope for Openness

“We chatted,” Heather said about her meeting with this shy birth mother. “I wanted her to know that she could always be a part of the baby’s life.”

The birth mother had chosen Heather to raise the child six weeks earlier. At the time, Heather was determined to make sure they took pictures with the birth mother so as the little girl grew up, she would know what her birth mother looked like.

The Picture That Was Never Taken and What It Meant

At the time, Heather was determined to make sure they took pictures with the birth mother so as the little girl grew, she would know more about the woman who carried her.

“My older daughter would have liked to have had a picture. So I really wanted one for this new little girl. But she (birthmother) didn’t want to,” Heather said. “I don’t blame her. You don’t feel your best when you’ve had a baby.”

Heather has thought about that absence. A photograph would have been something concrete to give the little girl someday. Without it, the story would have to be told in words alone.

Open adoption doesn’t always look the way you picture it. Sometimes it begins in a hospital hallway. Sometimes it begins without a photograph. And sometimes, what matters most is what was said. Not necessarily a picture.

About Heart to Heart Adoptions in Utah

Heart to Heart Adoptions is a licensed, nonprofit adoption agency serving birth mothers and adoptive families across Utah. If you are pregnant in Utah and considering your options, counseling is free and available 24 hours a day. You do not have to have made any decision to call.

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Reviewed by licensed adoption professionals at Heart to Heart Adoptions.

Wendy Knowles, Birth Parent Support Specialist

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heart to heart adoptions

Michelle Barrus, Birth Parent Support Specialist

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Jodi Grizzle, LCSW